As previously mentioned, I got a new job, and therefore turned in my notice last week. And I have Short-timers. BAD. I am so mentally checked out it's not even funny. I didn't really even want to get involved with people's crappy $50 projects when I knew I was going to get paid on them, and now that I'm not?... I've been spending the majority of the day at work hiding. Unsuccessfully.
Anyway, Saturday is typically a slow day, but last Saturday, for whatever obnoxious reason, we were slammed. And shorthanded, of course. We had a momentary lull in traffic and I was standing behind the counter close to the front door. There was only one lady in the store and she had a kid that was about two and a half or three feet tall with her. (I don't do kid's ages, but I was told later that children of this height are maybe three-ish?) So this kid had her blanket and a stuffed animal with her and you could just tell she was a little princess. Not the cute kind, the demanding, "look at me!" kind.
So the kid's mom was standing there talking to one of our sales associates, and the kid was running around their feet, knocking stuff over, and just generally being a three year old I guess. Well I looked away for two seconds, and when I looked back little princess had pulled her pants down past her butt and was sitting down on the freakin' WELCOME mat of the store, knuckle-deep in her butthole. Justa goin' to town. Doing what, I have no idea.
I looked around for a second, to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating or to see if there was another witness to this kid violating herself at the entrance of the store. There wasn't. So as soon as there was a lull in conversation between the kid's mother and the sales associate, all I could say was, "Uh ummmmmmm....." At this, the mom turned around and saw her precious angel swirling her disgusting little finger around in her no-no place. Her embarrassment was obvious, and she immediately told the kid to stop, and stood her up and handed her the blanket - which the kid anxiously grabbed with her butthole fingers. Sick. And note to self - do NOT touch a kid's
The mom was all flushed and nervously mumbled some sort of apology under her breath. I went back to what I was doing and tried my best not to think about what other objects in the store this kid might be running around stink-palming, and the next thing I know, the three of them go walking by the counter and the kid deliberately stops, turns to me, and sticks her tongue out. WTF, man?!
And are you ready for it? The most recent of my constant reminders that I'm not ready for babies?... As a 29-year-old woman, my natural reaction to this tougue-sticky-outy absurdity was to do it right back to her. Score one for the grown-ups.
