Well, I guess I should have seen it coming, since it was just mere days ago when I went and opened my big. fat. freakin. mouth. You might remember this post when I discussed at great length how much I absolutely ADORE my new job. Yeah. Keep all that in mind for this next part.
For whatever reason - call it a premonission, message from God, women's intuition - I decided last week that I needed to volunteer to help my company out of a jam at our Orlando branch. Apparently since the designer who trained me for my job in Jacksonville went out on her four month maternity leave (and YES, she deserves every single second of a four month break for how hard she busted her ass up until she was literally 9 months pregnant) everything in Orlando went to hell in a handbasket with a quickness.
They had designers coming from all over the state to try to cover the massive backlog of buyers piling up in Orlando - but none of the other designers are trained on the system that my builder uses. It just made sense for me to be the one to go to Orlando to help out, but they were trying not to ask me since I am still pretty much a newbie. And the only reason I hadn't volunteered initally was because Orlando is NOT my magic kingdom - I pretty much loathe it - and also volunteering would mean that I'd be away from home, and more importantly, away from my boys, two days a week.
But alas, I just randomly got this overwhelming feeling in my gut last week that volunteering to help out was just what I needed to do. You know those feelings that you get? Like it's not necessarily something you want to do, but you just know that you need to? It was that.
So Lane and I talked and agreed that it wouldn't be ideal, but it would only be for a few months and would be a great chance to step up to the plate for my new company - and it might even be nice to have a little "extra" cash flow to boot!
The next day I talked to my regional manager and, much to his sheer delight and elation, I volunteered to work in Orlando Monday and Tuesday of every week for the next four months. I think his exact words when I asked if he'd like me to come down to help out were, "SHIT YEAH!" So even though I knew it'd be tons of work and long hours and lots of driving, I felt really good about doing it.
Friday morning I was in a great mood. Things had been rocking right along at the design center in Jacksonville and my schedule was managable enough to work two days in Orlando and three days in Jacksonville with no problems. Lane and I were going out of town that afternoon for a friend's wedding in ATL, so we were excited about that. And also it was "Spirit Day" at work - which basically meant we were getting a free lunch from the place of my choosing! Nice.
After our morning branch meeting, my boss and I got on a conference call with the regional manager in Orlando to confirm the plans for the upcoming week. I'd be driving down earrrrly Monday morning and working all day - through design center preview ending at 7 p.m. - and then working there all day Tuesday and driving back Tuesday night. Good deal.
I was clicking right along reporting my files from the two design center appointments on Thursday, and trying to finish up some other paperwork so I could scoot out early and we could get on the road to Atlanta, when I saw the voicemail light blinking on my phone. I picked it up and punched in my code and kept on clicking through my paperwork. And then I stopped. And replayed the message.
It was from the administrative lady at my builder's office. I can't even remember the exact words, but this is kinda how it went. "umm Katie... something something... really hope this isn't the first that you're hearing of this... blah blah blah... but as of yesteday we closed our doors in Jacksonville.... something else and blah.... we're going to finish out the homes under contract and that's it... blah ba de blup.... you won't be able to reach me going forward... yadda yadda... best of luck to you. click."
Ummm. WHAT? I'm sorry - I could have sworn that you just said that the very builder that is the one single solitary reason that I was HIRED for this amazing job which I absolutely adore is no longer building in Jacksonville. See it kinda SOUNDS LIKE what you're saying is that even though we just finished a brand new model home in one of the nicest communities in Jacksonville, plowed through forty interviews to hire a new designer (a.k.a. ME!), hired two new sales agents, and built a brand new design center, that all of that is irrelevant and we're now just gonna go ahead and throw in the towel. Close the doors. We're done.
Only the shitty part is that it's not just what it "sounds like". That's what it IS. No one saw it coming. Not even my boss knew, hence his utter confusion when I burst into his office asking if I still had a job. And thankfully, for the time being anyway, I do.
Not too long after I got the "voicemail heard 'round the world" - which I saved just in case I need to remember how it feels to get gut kicked - my regional manager called me and literally said: "Katie don't freak!" It was a very nice gesture, to which I immediately replied, "K 'cause I'm kinda FREAKIN." And then he told me that he had a plan and not to worry and that Orlando would keep me busy until the end of the year and "you never know what will change in the Jacksonville design center in that amount of time." And that is true. I don't. And OH how I love uncertainty.
Just a brief recap... in the last four years I have been divorced, I have moved three times, and (including this one) had four different jobs. Don't get me wrong - all of these things have absolutely been what's right for MY life, and have gotten me to a place where I am happier than I've ever been in both personal and work aspects. But I'm kinda OVER uncertainty. I thought this was "the job". I love it. I love the people I work with, I love my office, I love the work. I just love it. And I literally felt like I was being dumped when I got that voicemail. Like someone had just ripped my heart out and punted it across the design center.
It was all I could do to hold it together the rest of the day. We still had our "spirit lunch". Wasn't feeling very spiritful. And one of the hardest things was that, other than my boss, no one else that I work with knew what had happened, and every one kept asking what was wrong and trying to cheer me up - which as any woman knows, only makes the overwhelming urge to cry even more impossible to resist.
So now I am in a hotel in Orlando - thanking my lucky stars that I volunteered to work here before it was the only thing left for me to do. The first time they saw me today, everyone at the builder's office looked at me with that pitiful head-tilty half frowny half smiley "we're so sorry for you" face. I'd much prefer they just look at me and scream "DEAD MAN WALKIN'!" At least it'd be funny.
I have been reassured by our account executive and the regional manager that I have nothing to worry about and that "I'm fine", but just the fact that they even have to say that to me makes me feel less than fine.
BUT, I choose to remain optimisitc. As you may remember from the last post, there is a new builder coming into the showroom and I just know that at the end of these next four months they will be keeping me busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. (Fingers majorly crossed!) There is another builder that has a deal on the table to come into the showroom too. And HEY - I just so happen to know of a big beautiful (and very recently vacated) showroom space that they could fill!
So all hope is not lost. I refuse. As long as I have this job that I love I will continue to give it 110%, and more importantly, I will have faith that everything will work out exactly as it's supposed to. It always does.
And in a stroke of beautiful irony (which you all know that I love so much!), this is one of the signs in the builder's office here in Orlando.
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| damn right. |
